How Daily and Weekly Reviews Are Changing My Life

Jackie2 Comments

Life moves fast.

Now that I’ve crossed my 30’s, I feel like each week moves faster than the week before. One day it’s Monday and then I blink and it’s suddenly Friday afternoon.

It feels like the second half of my 20’s simply flew by in a few months.

To combat this constant chaos, I’m focusing on trying to be more reflective every week and every day.

When you slow down and take a second to look back, this is the only way I have found to slow down the world. (Outside of long vacations, but I don’t do those nearly enough.)

The daily review

Each day I ask myself a few questions:

What wins did I have today? What went well?
What was a memorable moment?
What could I do better tomorrow to make it an even better day?
What relationships in my life do I need to give more attention?
What 3 things am I grateful for today?

When you first start doing it, it feels weird to analyze a day in such detail. However, when you’re going back and flipping through your notebook, it’s amazing to read.

You’ll remember little details you completely forgot in the daily speed of life. It also reminds you that you often have a pretty good life.

Yes, you could make the argument that by focusing on the good things every day, you’re glossing over the tough things that happened, but do you really want to look back and remember all the pain and heartache? I sure don’t.

The weekly review

My weekly reviews are a little more in-depth and tied to my work life.

Highlights of the week?
What didn’t go right this week?
What worked this week?
What projects did I move forward?
How can I move them forward next week?
What can I do to have a better week next week?
What am I looking forward to?
An overview of the top areas and goals I care about and what’s happening with them.
Top 5 goals for next week.

For my monthly reviews, I generally ask the same questions. It’s surprisingly hard to review a full month without these daily and weekly reviews. I have no idea how someone could review a month without the detailed notes from the other reviews.

Extra benefits of reviewing your life regularly

One of the biggest benefits I saw after a few weeks of maintaining this review schedule was the fact that I could see pitfalls in my planning and where I was making mistakes.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind that you forget to take a step back and look for new, fresh solutions.

We often do these types of reviews at our jobs but rarely think to do them for our lives. Which is funny because our lives are far more important than our jobs.

When you’re reviewing your life, you’re able to be more intentional about your time. If you’re repeatedly saying that you don’t put in enough time for friends and family, you’ll be determined to figure out how to make it fit in.

You’ll also be able to see where you’re making progress and where you’re falling behind on other things. This will force you to re-evaluate if those goals are important to you. If not, you’ll finally be able to let them go. If they are, you’ll be forced to figure out a way to fit them in.

Only through reflection can we figure out what truly matters and make sure we don’t miss it in the hustle and bustle of our speedy lives.

Put Yourself in A Position to Get What You Want

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Everyone has dreams and goals. Everyone wants something out of life.

However, if you aren’t actually putting yourself in a position to get what you want, you’ll never get it.

You can’t win the lottery without buying a ticket.
You can’t get your dream job without applying for them.
You can’t get in shape without going to the gym.
You can’t find the love of your life without putting yourself out there.
You can’t win the lottery without buying a ticket.
You can’t land a role in a movie without going to auditions.
You can’t have your book published without sending pitches to publishers.

So many people spend their days dreaming and hoping for the things they want without actually putting themselves in a position to get what they want.

They don’t go out there and network with people, they don’t try new things, they don’t pursue goals, and then they complain and wonder why they don’t have the things they want.

Opportunities in your life will come when you’re in a position to have things happen in your life.

No one is just going to come knocking on your front door and hand you your dream life.

Write out your goals, the things you want that keep you up at night. The things you daydream about when you’re sitting at your desk.

Then, write out the things you need to do to actually make them come true.

This is the space where the magic happens.

This is the space where dreams come to life.

The truth is that this is the space that scares most people. It’s the nitty-gritty time where the work must be done and rejection is entirely possible at every turn.

However, if you don’t do this work then you’ll just end up dreaming for the rest of your life.

How to Fix Your Boring Life and Make Life More Exciting

Jackie1 Comment

Life goes through cycles. Sometimes it’s exciting and sometimes it’s mundane.

However, if most of us aren’t careful we’ll end up in a life that feels too much like Groundhog Day where every single day feels like the same.

This is a problem I constantly find myself in, even though I own my own business and control my own schedule.

It’s easy to get comfortable. To stay within the walls of what you know. To stop reaching out. But a quality life is outside of that realm.

Yes, there’s something to be said for that inner happiness and peace that comes with being content with your life (another article for another day), but excitement is what gets us jumping out of bed in the morning.

If you find yourself in a position where you hate getting out of bed in the morning, or everything just feels tedious, you’re probably stuck in a rut. (Also – I’m not talking about dealing with depression, that’s a whole different beast.)

This is purely about shaking things up and bringing your spark back.

See, this is something I had a huge awakening to last year.

Since I started my business in 2012, I got stuck in workaholic mode. My weekends and days were dedicated to sitting at my computer and doing everything I could to bring in work. This went on for years and lead to bad habits that I should have started to break years ago.

Then, last year, I started dating someone fun who got me out of this rut. We’d explore the city, watch movies, laugh, and I wouldn’t work for a whole weekend at a time.

You’d think that my work would have suffered due to cutting down my working hours, but the opposite was actually true. I actually ended up making more money.

While that relationship didn’t last, the lasting impact of getting outside of my daily rut did. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day life that we simply forget to step back and analyze if all this work is getting us closer or farther from the things we actually want. That brings me to my first point.

Get in touch with what you want

You probably have put off the things you want for far too long now. Sometimes we can be so focused on the daily grind and to-do’s that we forget the long-term view of our lives.

If you’ve been wanting to write a screenplay, but you haven’t written a page in a year, it’s time for you to decide if you truly want it or if you don’t.

Another thing to note: It’s okay to let go of goals.

I wanted to be a professional snowboarder as a teenager and it took me far too long to admit to myself that I was over that goal and it was something I no longer wanted.

Take the time to list out what you actually want out of your life. What do you want for the next 10 years to look like? Get detailed.

Until you know where you want to go, you’ll have no idea how to mix it up.

Imagine life without taking action

It’s easy to sit here and say, “Oh, it’s easy, just start!”

I hate the “just start!” advice. It’s shallow. Yes, it’s that simple but it’s not that easy.

So instead I want you to actually visualize what it would be like if you don’t take action on these things you want. Imagine being older, being sick, nearing the end of your life without having pursued the things you want.

Note: I said pursued. Achievements are hard and sometimes wildly subjective, but it’s the pursuit of goals that give us fulfillment.

If you ask anyone who is older than you, it’s always the things they didn’t do that hurts the most. Rarely do they regret trying new things, even if they were bad at them.

Find a reason

To propel yourself to take action and get out of your head, you’ll have to find a reason to start.

Maybe this means paying for classes (paying for something is a big motivator). Maybe you start a blog to track your progress. Do whatever it takes to start now, not later.

Switch up your daily routine

Call into work sick if you have to, but for one day this week you need to do something you don’t regularly do. If you have kids, get a babysitter. If you have appointments, move them.

I can’t emphasize how important it is to get outside of your regular environment. If you cancel everything and just stay home, you’ll end up internet surfing or playing video games all day which is the opposite of what you need.

If you want to take it to the next level, go on a weekend trip away. However, that’s not possible for everyone. You need to remember life outside of your daily bubble. Life before all your damn productivity systems yelling at you every day.

You don’t even need to spend money on this day. You could go walk around a local park or simply work at your local library. Whatever it takes to just shake up your inner robot.

Try something new outside of what you think you like

If you don’t think you’re athletic, follow a YouTube video of a beginner yoga session.

If you don’t like spicy foods, try just one food that is slightly spicy.

The problem with life and social media is that we stick ourselves in these boxes, and then other people expect us to stay in these boxes. We put pressure on ourselves and so do the people around us to stay the same. You haven’t tasted enough things to know what you like and what you don’t like.

You’re bored because you’re bored with the current version of yourself and your life. You want different things but are worried the people around you won’t like it.

You have no idea what could eventually become a passion or side hobby until you taste it and know. Don’t let people hold you back from these possibilities.

Doing things that scare you (even a little bit) is the best way to feel alive. That doesn’t mean you have to go skydiving (although it can), it just means doing things outside of what we view as possible in our own lives.

Start cutting

If you seriously want to change your life, you need to start cutting out the things that don’t add to it.

I don’t believe in cutting out things that actually bring you joy (someone will remove watching horror movies out of my weekly list over my cold, dead body), but you need to know what those things are.

If you’re watching sports just because you always did in the past but you’re finding that it doesn’t actually bring you a renewed sense of focus, then it’s time for it to go.

You’d be surprised at how many things are on your list that you do every day simply out of routine or expectations from other people. You’ll have to start saying no so you can fit in what matters.

Start cutting so you can start adding what matters most.

It’s only your life on the line.

When to Focus on One Idea vs Multiple Ideas

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While success usually requires a complete focus on one idea, sometimes it takes time to find one single idea to dedicate all your time to.

If you’re struggling to find your one idea, it might worth it to try as many ideas as you can over a period of time to see what you care about the most.

That’s the rut I’ve been stuck in. I have so many ideas and it’s simply just time to try them all to see which one sticks and works. I’ve focused on single ideas at a time for years now, and it’s just time to mix it up.

I’ve listed out over 50 ideas I want to try throughout the year just to see and figure out which ones I want to pursue.

There are probably so many things you always wanted to try or wanted to pursue, but you kept putting it off. No more. If you feel stuck, maybe it’s now the time to try as many things as possible just to mix it up. You might even fall completely in love with one of your ideas and you’ll discover it was something you should have been doing for a long time.

I’ve always been a big believer in trying things before you know you’re passionate about them. When you’re good at things, you find passion. You can’t think your way to passion. It’s not a logical game.

Creating ideas

There are some questions you can ask yourself to figure out what you should try.

  • What did you love doing when you were young?
  • What have you always wanted to try?
  • What would you do with your time if there was no one to judge you?
  • What do you keep putting off?
  • What do you find yourself day dreaming about?

List as many as you want. It’s up to you if you want to cut the list down or just go all-in and start checking them off as you go.

Stop thinking start doing

The biggest hurdle most people face is how often they think about every damn thing. They want to analyze and talk themselves out of things. That’s how they got stuck in the first place.

It’s important to just dive in. Want to start a blog? Write a post right now. Want to start working out? Find a free fitness class in your area and sign up right now. Want to learn how to cook? Sign up for a free class, watch some YouTube videos, or order a book right now.

The internet has given us a million ways to learn new things.

“I don’t know how” is no longer an excuse.

2018 is the year to change that and start finding what you love. That’s how you break out of a rut and start building a life you love.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

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mike-erskine-144525

We’ve all heard the quote about “You’re the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with,” and while it’s a great idea, sometimes it’s hard.

When some people hear this idea, they get upset. They think this means they have to ditch all their friends and be alone until they only are surrounded by “winners”.

That’s one side, and then the alternative is the importance of surrounding yourself with people who lift them up.

This article is for that second group of people.

Look, I understand hanging out with friends who you have a history with.

I also understand how exhausting some people are. There is a huge difference between someone going through a hard time and someone who complains about everything.

There’s nothing wrong with evaluating the people you spend the most time around to see if they’re contributing to your life or taking away.

The biggest question is to ask yourself if you feel better or worse after talking to someone on a regular basis.

It’s amazing how over the years I’ve become more and more sensitive to this issue. Once I graduated high school and college, I wasn’t forced to be around people I didn’t enjoy being around. I work for myself so I get to dictate who I interact with on a daily basis.

 

Some people don’t get that luxury. They have coworkers they have to deal with who are constant energy drains.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of you and your friend traveling down different life paths. You’re on different journies and although you had a solid friendship for a long time, it doesn’t mean you have to force a friendship that no longer fits.

It’s up to you if you want to have a harsh conversation with your friends or you just want to start putting some distance between you both.

This article from Ramit is incredible for some steps on building the foundation for new friendships. (Yes, it’s possible to build friendships as an adult.)

Before you decide who you want to surround yourself with, you need to decide what you need from your friends.

There are always things we need from a friendship, and if you don’t know what you need, you can’t find it.

I’m one of those people who just needs positivity. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles of life, but to talk to people who know you’re gonna pull out of it are so important for my mental state.

Sure, there are always things happening in the world, and there is a time and a place to consume the news, but people who just incessantly talk about what’s wrong in the world can be tough to be around.

If your friendships energize you and lift you up, you’re one of the lucky ones. Send your friends a text right now and thank them for being great. If not, maybe it’s time to take a look around at your social circle.

The Beginning – Project Rebirth Part 1

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jan-senderek-193369
Photo by Jan Senderek via Unsplash

Most people hit a point where they realize they’re unhappy.

They realize that they’ve fallen into a level of complacency that has kept everything safe. That’s where I’ve been for quite some time now.

There are big goals I want, but achieving any of them requires me to break all the habits I’ve fallen into.

It’s easy to dream of the goals and put them off for “one day”, but I’ve realized that the years keep speeding by without any of them actually getting checked off.

Thus, Project Rebirth.

(On a nerd note, Project Rebirth is the name of the program that take Captain America from average citizen to superhero. It’s a good name for a transformation of any kind.)

I just want to change everything. I’m at a point where I’m either going to change everything once and for all or suck it up and stay average forever. There is no middle ground now.

The thing is, we all talk about passion. The experts write about it. We all know we “should” follow our passions, but how many of us are actually making steps each day toward those dreams?

All I want to do is start making steps toward those goals and transforming my life in the process. I’m no expert on this, but I did do this when I was 18 and left my home state and never looked back. It’s just simply time to do it again.

It’s time to leave my city.
It’s time to change my career.
It’s time to change my health.
It’s time to change everything.

I don’t have the plan yet, but this is part 1 of maybe thousands. Here’s to 2017.

Ways to Earn Money on the Side in College

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When I was in college, minimum wage was barely enough to cover all my bills.

Some months, it simply wasn’t enough.

I had to figure something out, and fast.

During my hunt for a second job, I couldn’t find any bosses who would tolerate my crazy school schedule.

After another interview that went south, I immediately went home and googled how to make money on this crazy internet thing.

I had to sift through a TON of crappy MLM deals, of course, but I realized that legitimate businesses could be built online along with side hustles to create extra cash flow.

In today’s world, it’s so important to have multiple streams of income. When you have just one, and it’s taken from you due to circumstances outside your control, you have a limited time to get your finances together.

1. Selling old textbooks.

At the end of every semester, I’d hop on Amazon and sell my old school books. I’d also happily take any of the old textbooks from my classmates who were flying home during summer. It always brought in enough to at least pay some bills.

It’s not going to buy a BMW, but if you’re really strapped, it could help so much.

2. Tutoring.

Taking college classes can make you qualified enough to teach a subject for most parents. You could tutor kids from K-12 or even other college students either in person or online.

3. Small labor gigs.

You could always help people move around your city. Get some friends together and find gigs around your city to move stuff.

4. Niche websites.

This seems to be a crowded market these days, but don’t completely throw it out yet. If you’re truly passionate about a subject, you should start a website. Period. I owe my main website absolutely everything in my life. It’s currently my main source of income.

5. Freelancing.

After doing all of the above throughout college, this was really what changed everything for me. I was getting my degree in writing, so I thought why not freelance on the side?

6. Small businesses.

If you truly want to help people and have an idea how to do it at scale, START. I stared my small business my senior year and it is the reason why I do what I do now.

7. Subscription boxes.

This post is a good one to read and understand why this is a rising trend in the business world. I haven’t played in this space (yet), but I am keeping an eye on it all the time.

 

What are YOUR ideas for creating income on the side? In this new world there’s so many ways to do it, and anyone who has a little spare time should jump on these opportunities.

Abandoning the “Should’s”

JackieLeave a comment

It’s not easy to live life on your own terms.

It’s a constant struggle between your dreams, your “rational” brain, your childhood, and all the people around you.

If you aren’t careful, eventually you’ll wake up and realize you’re living a life that you think you should be living.

You’re working at a job you “should” be working at.
You’re working for clients you think you “should” have.
You’re in a relationship you think you “should” be in.

We can keep up the appearance for a bit, but inside we know something is off. We know we’re not living out passions.

Every morning is awoken to a numb feeling. No excitement, no joy. Just another day on the hamster wheel.

When you don’t have your own goals, you start to pursue the goals other people want for you.

The other day, I came to this realization about my own life: I’m “should-ing” all over myself. (A word that has stuck with me since I read the “Don’t Should All Over Yourself article from the Art of Manliness.)

I realized that every day I was waking up to a dull monotony every single day.

Stress and worries were piling on, and I wasn’t pursuing anything worth getting up early for. I was doing everything I thought I “should” be doing.

Paying bills.
Taking any clients I could get.
Generally living a life of ease instead of excitement.

Safety is important, but never at the expense of happiness.

Here’s the truth: You can only create your dream life, it will never be handed to you.

While we work tirelessly toward all the things we think we “should” be doing, in the back of our minds we’re waiting for some magical day where we are granted a life of fulfilled passions because we’ve been so “good”.

It won’t happen.

A life of living out your passions and dreams comes from your own hard work and hustle, even if you have to wake up early and stay up late.

The secret is to always be pursuing your goals, not the goals the world wants you to pursue.

Never Postpone Happiness

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The longer you postpone the things you really want in life, the more every other area of your life will suffer.

Your job will feel that your heart isn’t in it.
Anyone you are dating or married to will feel the unhappiness radiating off of you.
Your friends will see you lying to yourself.

If you want to be miserable in life, this world will not stop you.

Actually, it will welcome your misery. So many people are miserable and you will fit right in. If you want something different, however, the world will challenge you. Particularly most of the people you know.

Miserable people don’t like people on a mission because it challenges all of the excuses they tell themselves. So, if you decide to go on a mission to create a better life, you have to mentally decide to do it for yourself regardless of what the people around you think.

The longer you postpone your deepest mission your chances of becoming happy again get smaller. You start to justify it within your mind then eventually you start to believe the excuses you tell yourself. The more believable they become to your own head, the more they start to crush the dreams in your heart.

This is also what I tell the people I know who seem to get irrationally mad at things for what seems like no reason. What is it about these things that seem to challenge deeply held beliefs you have?

One example I found within myself was when Tim Ferriss released the “4-Hour Workweek“. I was enraged and called it “stupid” and “cheating business”. Upon further examination I realized it is because the rhetoric I have told myself for years is that I must be alone, miserable, and overworked to be success. All of which were simply just excuses that I had started to believe.

I would argue that this is why people who are so unhappy with their own lives seem to hate absolutely everything because everything challenges them to the core of what they tell themselves. It challenges their excuses and their bullshit.

What personal excuses are you telling yourself that only hold you back?

Thoughts on Legacy, Tombstones, and Death

JackieLeave a comment

Death is a morbid topic to think about.

But if you’re going to create a life you want, you’re going to have to think about it.

My problem at every “job” I’ve ever had is that eventually I think about “If I were to die tomorrow, would I want this to be the last thing I did with my life?”

If the answer screamed from my bones: “NO” then I put in my two week notice the next day. Sometimes I had something else lined up, sometimes I didn’t. Most people look at me like I am insane, but I’m okay with that.

Because all I can think about at any given moment is my legacy.

“Is this what I want to be remembered for?”

I’ve gotten much better at narrowing it down and sticking to certain paths as time goes on, but I still think about it all the time.

As some of you know, I am a copywriter at the moment. I love it. It feels great to help people find the right words to describe their business. I’m happy and my clients are happy.

Is it what I want to always be remembered for?

Nope.

It will be a nice addition to the list, but it won’t be the only thing. I can’t personally imagine my obituary reading, “She was great at helping other people sell things.”

I think often of F. Scott Fitzgerald, my favorite author of all time, who never personally recovered from his success of The Great Gatsby. I am not envious of his life. If you ever read about it, it is quite sad. He was a terrible alcoholic, he was plagued with insecurities, he died at the young age of 44, and his wife died in a fire in a mental hospital.

Then on the flip side, I think of Theodore Roosevelt. Not only was he a President of the United States, but he was also an explorer, soldier, author, cowboy, police commissioner, started the Rough Riders, governor, vice president, wilderness enthusiast, Harvard graduate, boxer, rower, and certified badass. At one point in his career, he was shot in the chest and still continued speaking in front of the crowd for 90 minutes. And he did all of that before the age of 60. Not to mention, he wrote and published 35 books… AND had the famous Teddy bear named after him. Just let all of that soak in for a minute.

Throughout my short 24 years so far, every now and then I get friends who ask me how to decide what they want to do with their lives. I definitely don’t have all the answers yet, but there are some things I know for sure:

1. Progression is everything.

You grow in life or you stagnate. There is no middle ground here. You’re either growing as a person, getting in shape, making money, traveling and seeing the world, or you’re just sitting still.

If you focus on continual growth, you don’t have to worry as much about a “career” or a “job”. You will continue to pursue opportunities where growth will happen. You can’t always plan a “career”, but you can focus on your values, virtues, and goals as a person which will help you spot the opportunities.

2. If you can die without doing x, y, and z, move on from it.

Sometime we get so much outside influence for how we should think that we completely lose touch with ourselves. It takes a lot of alone time to clear out the clutter, voices, and suggestions from well-meaning people.

For example:
– Since I have a writing degree and student loan debt, I always feel like pursuing anything outside of writing is a waste of $20,000.00. Then I remember that most people don’t actually stay in the degree they got in college.
– I always feel like being an entrepreneur is crazy and I should just get a job like everyone else. Then I remember that owning my own business is what I always wanted and that every single person I know in my immediate circle who talks a big game about owning their own business in a few years actually won’t. Entrepreneurship is something that courses through your veins and it isn’t something you can ignore because there is no other option.

Something I like to imagine is being 90 and asking myself, “If I don’t do this in my life, can I die happy?”

If you can die happy without owning a fancy car, then get rid of that from your goal list.
If you can die happy without becoming a manager/executive at x company, then stop pursuing it.
If you can die happy without living in another country, stop thinking you have to do that.

If you can’t imagine dying without having started your own company, start one.
If you can’t imagine dying without having children, then add that to your list.
If you can’t imagine dying without having seen Italy, then make sure you buy a plane ticket.

It might require a weekend away from TV, Internet, and other people to really think about what you want out of life. You’ll probably be shocked by how many things you don’t want in your life.

Whatever the answers are, make the plans and adjust your life accordingly. Not all of us get until we are 90, so make sure you start on a path you actually want sooner than later.