Tag: living

Abandoning the “Should’s”

JackieLeave a comment

It’s not easy to live life on your own terms.

It’s a constant struggle between your dreams, your “rational” brain, your childhood, and all the people around you.

If you aren’t careful, eventually you’ll wake up and realize you’re living a life that you think you should be living.

You’re working at a job you “should” be working at.
You’re working for clients you think you “should” have.
You’re in a relationship you think you “should” be in.

We can keep up the appearance for a bit, but inside we know something is off. We know we’re not living out passions.

Every morning is awoken to a numb feeling. No excitement, no joy. Just another day on the hamster wheel.

When you don’t have your own goals, you start to pursue the goals other people want for you.

The other day, I came to this realization about my own life: I’m “should-ing” all over myself. (A word that has stuck with me since I read the “Don’t Should All Over Yourself article from the Art of Manliness.)

I realized that every day I was waking up to a dull monotony every single day.

Stress and worries were piling on, and I wasn’t pursuing anything worth getting up early for. I was doing everything I thought I “should” be doing.

Paying bills.
Taking any clients I could get.
Generally living a life of ease instead of excitement.

Safety is important, but never at the expense of happiness.

Here’s the truth: You can only create your dream life, it will never be handed to you.

While we work tirelessly toward all the things we think we “should” be doing, in the back of our minds we’re waiting for some magical day where we are granted a life of fulfilled passions because we’ve been so “good”.

It won’t happen.

A life of living out your passions and dreams comes from your own hard work and hustle, even if you have to wake up early and stay up late.

The secret is to always be pursuing your goals, not the goals the world wants you to pursue.

Never Postpone Happiness

JackieLeave a comment

The longer you postpone the things you really want in life, the more every other area of your life will suffer.

Your job will feel that your heart isn’t in it.
Anyone you are dating or married to will feel the unhappiness radiating off of you.
Your friends will see you lying to yourself.

If you want to be miserable in life, this world will not stop you.

Actually, it will welcome your misery. So many people are miserable and you will fit right in. If you want something different, however, the world will challenge you. Particularly most of the people you know.

Miserable people don’t like people on a mission because it challenges all of the excuses they tell themselves. So, if you decide to go on a mission to create a better life, you have to mentally decide to do it for yourself regardless of what the people around you think.

The longer you postpone your deepest mission your chances of becoming happy again get smaller. You start to justify it within your mind then eventually you start to believe the excuses you tell yourself. The more believable they become to your own head, the more they start to crush the dreams in your heart.

This is also what I tell the people I know who seem to get irrationally mad at things for what seems like no reason. What is it about these things that seem to challenge deeply held beliefs you have?

One example I found within myself was when Tim Ferriss released the “4-Hour Workweek“. I was enraged and called it “stupid” and “cheating business”. Upon further examination I realized it is because the rhetoric I have told myself for years is that I must be alone, miserable, and overworked to be success. All of which were simply just excuses that I had started to believe.

I would argue that this is why people who are so unhappy with their own lives seem to hate absolutely everything because everything challenges them to the core of what they tell themselves. It challenges their excuses and their bullshit.

What personal excuses are you telling yourself that only hold you back?

It is never too late to be happy

Rethink the Rulebook1 Comment

Growing up is a funny thing…

When we’re all young children, we have no problem saying what is on our minds. We let everyone know what our favorite things in the wholeeeee world are. We let everyone know that broccoli is the most disgusting thing to ever exist. We get excited all of the damn time over simple things like coloring.

Then, we get older.

We fake excitement, we swallow our words when we are unhappy, and most people sure as shit do not know what your favorite things are.

(Fun test: Ask the people you think know you the best what your favorite things are… It will be a huge wake up call to how quiet you keep your passions.)

Why?

Why do we mold into what other people say is acceptable for us to like or not like?

I am at the age where many of my friends are starting to get married and have babies.

To say that some of them feel lukewarm about it would be being nice.

Why on earth do we go through with things that we aren’t balls-to-the-wall happy about?

I understand following through on a commitment that you have sworn to stick it out with, but what about those commitments we make for life, not just short-term things like internships or college?

What about those relationships we only feel lukewarm about?

What about those jobs that make us hate every week that isn’t a vacation week?

What about those friends we allow to suck us dry until we don’t have the energy to do anything productive with our own lives?

Our inner 6 year olds would never ever ever tolerate this.

Think of all the six-year olds you know: they absolutely do not do anything they don’t like to do, they know what is fun to them and they pursue it relentlessly, and they absolutely do not fake friendships… But when they are excited, they are at levels far beyond excitement, into pure ecstasy.

All this week I have been asking myself: What would my inner 6-year-old say about my life right now? What would she change?

What would the inner part of you that demands happiness and rejects joylessness say about your life right now?