Tag: love

Never Postpone Happiness

JackieLeave a comment

The longer you postpone the things you really want in life, the more every other area of your life will suffer.

Your job will feel that your heart isn’t in it.
Anyone you are dating or married to will feel the unhappiness radiating off of you.
Your friends will see you lying to yourself.

If you want to be miserable in life, this world will not stop you.

Actually, it will welcome your misery. So many people are miserable and you will fit right in. If you want something different, however, the world will challenge you. Particularly most of the people you know.

Miserable people don’t like people on a mission because it challenges all of the excuses they tell themselves. So, if you decide to go on a mission to create a better life, you have to mentally decide to do it for yourself regardless of what the people around you think.

The longer you postpone your deepest mission your chances of becoming happy again get smaller. You start to justify it within your mind then eventually you start to believe the excuses you tell yourself. The more believable they become to your own head, the more they start to crush the dreams in your heart.

This is also what I tell the people I know who seem to get irrationally mad at things for what seems like no reason. What is it about these things that seem to challenge deeply held beliefs you have?

One example I found within myself was when Tim Ferriss released the “4-Hour Workweek“. I was enraged and called it “stupid” and “cheating business”. Upon further examination I realized it is because the rhetoric I have told myself for years is that I must be alone, miserable, and overworked to be success. All of which were simply just excuses that I had started to believe.

I would argue that this is why people who are so unhappy with their own lives seem to hate absolutely everything because everything challenges them to the core of what they tell themselves. It challenges their excuses and their bullshit.

What personal excuses are you telling yourself that only hold you back?

It is never too late to be happy

Rethink the Rulebook1 Comment

Growing up is a funny thing…

When we’re all young children, we have no problem saying what is on our minds. We let everyone know what our favorite things in the wholeeeee world are. We let everyone know that broccoli is the most disgusting thing to ever exist. We get excited all of the damn time over simple things like coloring.

Then, we get older.

We fake excitement, we swallow our words when we are unhappy, and most people sure as shit do not know what your favorite things are.

(Fun test: Ask the people you think know you the best what your favorite things are… It will be a huge wake up call to how quiet you keep your passions.)

Why?

Why do we mold into what other people say is acceptable for us to like or not like?

I am at the age where many of my friends are starting to get married and have babies.

To say that some of them feel lukewarm about it would be being nice.

Why on earth do we go through with things that we aren’t balls-to-the-wall happy about?

I understand following through on a commitment that you have sworn to stick it out with, but what about those commitments we make for life, not just short-term things like internships or college?

What about those relationships we only feel lukewarm about?

What about those jobs that make us hate every week that isn’t a vacation week?

What about those friends we allow to suck us dry until we don’t have the energy to do anything productive with our own lives?

Our inner 6 year olds would never ever ever tolerate this.

Think of all the six-year olds you know: they absolutely do not do anything they don’t like to do, they know what is fun to them and they pursue it relentlessly, and they absolutely do not fake friendships… But when they are excited, they are at levels far beyond excitement, into pure ecstasy.

All this week I have been asking myself: What would my inner 6-year-old say about my life right now? What would she change?

What would the inner part of you that demands happiness and rejects joylessness say about your life right now?

Stop sacrificing your happiness and passions

Rethink the Rulebook4 Comments

We are all far too stressed out, overwhelmed, and frankly too damn busy trying to keep everyone else happy.

Sometimes these things start out small, we start dating someone who has different interests than our own and we grow to love the things they love while sacrificing what we love.

Us women especially have this issue: we love keeping everyone else happy and sometimes forget that we deserve to be on the top of our own list. If we keep ourselves happy, we do a much better job at keeping everyone else happy, too.

I have noticed this within my own life; I get really snippy and I get mad at everyone else for the littlest things when all it means is that I’m not putting myself at the top of my own list.

Here was a little bomb of wisdom from one of my closest friends, “How is anyone else supposed to respect the things you love to do if you don’t make them even aware of them in the first place?”

Boom.

Let’s say you love going to the gym, and you decide to start working out again. You decide to go to the gym tonight right after work at 5:00. You are on your way out the door of work and your husband calls you with plans he made. You get instantly upset and want to cry and are bitter the rest of the night because he didn’t put your desires first.

But, here’s the thing, if you don’t openly and wildly declare, “I AM GOING TO THE GYM AT 5 TODAY AND UNLESS YOU ARE DYING, THESE PLANS ARE NOT TO BE CHANGED!” How the hell is anyone supposed to know these plans you have?

(Side note: If you do declare this, and people still piss on your plans, rethink these people in your life… This is a quick way to know who is supportive in your life and who isn’t.)

So, today, try to make your friends and family aware of the things you love and when you’re going to start bringing them back into your life. Sometimes they’ll even want to join you! But if you get some negative feedback, read my other post and maybe it’s time to find new people in your life.

At the very least, the internet is a great place to make new friends who have similar hobbies as you. I don’t know what I’d do without the support of my fitness friends I have met through the internet. Plus, this blog is all about Rethinking the Rulebook and thinking outside of the traditional norms out there.

Get out your planner, mark in the time TODAY to do something you love, then tell everyone who could interfere with this plan what you’re going to do.

Watch out world, you’re coming through.