Why Your Passion Is Dying

Your side hustle is not a job.

Read that line again.

If you are spending your time what feels like “clocking in” to your side hustle, you are treating it like a job and you are going to burn out.

Your hustle isn’t something you clock into. It’s something you can’t wait to get to at the end of every working day. It’s something you don’t even have to write in your planner to get to because every day you can’t wait to get started on it.

If it is something you have to remind yourself to do, or you have at a scheduled “time” to start clocking in and out of, then you need to step back and think if it really is something you’re passionate about. If you know without a doubt that it is, then what you may be experiencing is full-blown burn out.

Burn out comes when you feel like you’re just running in circles with your business and you feel like no matter what you do, you’re not making progress.

Many business “guru’s” say to just charge through this time because you need to “work harder” and “if you want to be successful you have to be in non-stop hustle mode”!!! And while there are some truths to these in day-to-day life, but when it comes to your passion in life, if you’re feeling the candles being burnt at all ends, you need to stop.

I’m not saying stop forever and give up any dreams of being an entrepreneur. I’m saying grant yourself a weekend off to go do something else. Don’t even think about your business at all. Get outside of yourself and your problems.

Trying to figure out your problems when you’re already burning out is like trying to resist when you’re caught in a wave. The more you flail, the harder it is going to be to get out. Sometimes you just need a few days off to renew yourself.

Yes, this goes against every single success “guru” and their advice for starting entrepreneurs. They believe you should ignore every warning sign your body is trying to send you, miss every important family event, and never sleep again in order to be successful.

Here at Rethink the Rulebook, we don’t go with the “typical” advice. We know that we’re not trying to replace one job where we already don’t have enough free time with another job that makes us feel just as burned out. We realize that in the grand scheme of things, one weekend off from your hustle in a whole month isn’t going to make the whole world collapse on your business. Stepping away from your problems can bring you greater clarity in the long run.

Take a weekend off, then get back to hustling hard. It will only make things better in the long run. Plus, you only have one life, why not have a little fun?


Stop Making Decisions Out Of Fear

You know what brings out the worst in people?


Within the last two weeks I have been apartment hunting. There is nothing like a possible chance of being homeless in the future to bring out the fear in you.

Obviously I won’t wind up homeless… but that’s the thing about fear, nothing about it is rational.

Fear convinces us to:

– Stay in that shitty relationship
– Stay at that shitty job
– Take that shitty job
– Take that shitty apartment
– Not pursue our dreams… because what if we fail?

Fear convinces us to do the stupidest things. Reflect back on your life for a minute. How many decisions have you made out of fear?

I know I have made hundreds. Maybe I thought I wasn’t going to get something better… maybe I didn’t think I deserved better. Whatever it was, the fear in my head convinced me that I had to settle for less for some unknown, illogical factor.

Sure, fear keeps us from doing stupid things. That’s why it’s in our brain. But there are simple things like moving toward our dreams where it says, “HEY WHOA I DON’T KNOW THIS TERRITORY AND BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW IT, I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN.”

It takes a long time to recognize when your brain is trying to self-sabotage you.

This past week I almost signed two leases that my rational brain would never sign because I was afraid that I wouldn’t find anything better.

And what kind of agreement is that? I’d only be miserable and bitter every day that I was in those apartments. Seriously it was literally as close as, “Here’s the paper. Sign at the bottom.” And I heard that echo in my brain, I was like, “Oh shit… I hate this. I hate this apartment. Get me out of here.”

When you feel that little tingle of intuition that is overriding your fear, it is important to stop and wonder why you feel that way. If you suppress it, the fear will gladly take over. It will gladly say, “Let’s just settle with this.”

You can’t let the fear win.

This week, try and take notice of when your fear is taking over and think, “No! I am in control of my life. I am in control of my destiny. I AM going to achieve my dreams. I am making my own rules for life.”

This is what we’re all about here: Rethinking the Rulebook.

Define your own life. Make your own legacy.

It is never too late to be happy

Growing up is a funny thing…

When we’re all young children, we have no problem saying what is on our minds. We let everyone know what our favorite things in the wholeeeee world are. We let everyone know that broccoli is the most disgusting thing to ever exist. We get excited all of the damn time over simple things like coloring.

Then, we get older.

We fake excitement, we swallow our words when we are unhappy, and most people sure as shit do not know what your favorite things are.

(Fun test: Ask the people you think know you the best what your favorite things are… It will be a huge wake up call to how quiet you keep your passions.)


Why do we mold into what other people say is acceptable for us to like or not like?

I am at the age where many of my friends are starting to get married and have babies.

To say that some of them feel lukewarm about it would be being nice.

Why on earth do we go through with things that we aren’t balls-to-the-wall happy about?

I understand following through on a commitment that you have sworn to stick it out with, but what about those commitments we make for life, not just short-term things like internships or college?

What about those relationships we only feel lukewarm about?

What about those jobs that make us hate every week that isn’t a vacation week?

What about those friends we allow to suck us dry until we don’t have the energy to do anything productive with our own lives?

Our inner 6 year olds would never ever ever tolerate this.

Think of all the six-year olds you know: they absolutely do not do anything they don’t like to do, they know what is fun to them and they pursue it relentlessly, and they absolutely do not fake friendships… But when they are excited, they are at levels far beyond excitement, into pure ecstasy.

All this week I have been asking myself: What would my inner 6-year-old say about my life right now? What would she change?

What would the inner part of you that demands happiness and rejects joylessness say about your life right now?

Cut the cord

There people many people in your life that will refuse to accept change.

They don’t want to see you become the amazing person you are becoming.

They want to keep you where you always were before.

Seriously, this is the best advice I can give because I am dealing with this situation in my personal life right now:

-Create new rules and conditions.

-Inform them of these new rules. Be open to opinions but don’t change for them.

-If they refuse to follow these new rules: warn them sternly once.

-The second time: it is done.

If what you are doing is a positive change, don’t listen to them. These people refuse to see you grow because they don’t have the strength to change themselves.

You got this. Pursue your own happiness.

Go to your limit

When was the last time you went 110% toward a goal you had?

I was thinking about this the other day, really really examining my past and thinking about why I wasn’t as far as I wish I could be (ah, the life of a perfectionist). So, I asked myself when was the last time that I committed so deeply to a goal that I couldn’t even imagine not achieving it.

Honestly, I couldn’t remember. It had been years.

Everything I had pursued, I had reservations. Whether what I was pursuing was working or failing, I still had reservations and there was always that minor reservation hanging in the back of my mind.

Think about what would happen if you fully committed yourself to something you really want?

Maybe you’ll fail. So what? The world truly won’t end. It will feel that way at the time, but when you look back on that failure years later, you’ll be grateful it happened because either you’ll learn something from it, or you’ll know you were never meant to go in that direction.

Here’s the thing though: If you went 110%, I would bet you anything that you actually wouldn’t fail.

The few things I deemed important enough to give it my all, I either succeeded or something so much better came along in the process of working toward it.

So many people get started on the path toward a goal. You go out and buy the planner. You make the whole plan. You make the day by day plans to get there.

Then it’s time to execute.

One day goes by where you miss your to-do’s. Usually this is enough to knock people off course.

Then the plan is made again.


I’ve learned that it’s better to do 30 minutes a day (which anyone can fit it) of focused work toward a goal than short day-long bursts every few weeks.

What can you do for those 30 minutes today?

This is 2012, say your damn opinion

Draw a line in the sand.

Be black and white.

Know where you stand.

Don’t let other people bully you and push you around.

If someone says something rude to you, let your opinions be known about the subject.

Respect everyone until they disrespect you.

Life is too short for bullies.

Draw that line through that damn sand and let them know where you stand.

Proud about your passions

Here is the thought going out to my readers for the next few days: Why do we still search for approval from some people even though we are adults now?

Why do we sheepishly say “Oh, here are my hopes and dreams” in a timid voice without that raw, real, confidence that we should have because, well, it’s your whole life and why shouldn’t you be able to speak confidently about it?

I have only noticed this recently within myself. Why do I still seek approval from people? Is it just in our DNA?

Why do I want people to be as excited as I am about the things I am pursuing? If they don’t give a fuck, why am I upset?

If your passion is stickers, why don’t you walk around like, “HEY I THINK STICKERS ARE AWESOME! And since I am aware of my passion, I make sure to keep it in my life as often as possible and it makes me so damn happy.” For whatever reason we say to ourselves, “No, stickers are for kids. It’s time to grow up and get a real job.”

Fuck that.

There is nothing shameful about having a passion in any area.

Who cares if your friends approve or if your family approves… Take your passion, and be proud of it! The only thing that matters is if it makes you happy.

So the next time you unapologetically tell someone your passion, and they turn their head to the side in confusion, just smile and say, “Wow, I’m sorry you don’t have something that lights up your life the way ______ does for me,” and simply walk away.

Follow me on Twitter and let’s talk about how you are rethinking the supposed “rules” you’re supposed to be living.