Cut the cord

There people many people in your life that will refuse to accept change.

They don’t want to see you become the amazing person you are becoming.

They want to keep you where you always were before.

Seriously, this is the best advice I can give because I am dealing with this situation in my personal life right now:

-Create new rules and conditions.

-Inform them of these new rules. Be open to opinions but don’t change for them.

-If they refuse to follow these new rules: warn them sternly once.

-The second time: it is done.

If what you are doing is a positive change, don’t listen to them. These people refuse to see you grow because they don’t have the strength to change themselves.

You got this. Pursue your own happiness.

Go to your limit

When was the last time you went 110% toward a goal you had?

I was thinking about this the other day, really really examining my past and thinking about why I wasn’t as far as I wish I could be (ah, the life of a perfectionist). So, I asked myself when was the last time that I committed so deeply to a goal that I couldn’t even imagine not achieving it.

Honestly, I couldn’t remember. It had been years.

Everything I had pursued, I had reservations. Whether what I was pursuing was working or failing, I still had reservations and there was always that minor reservation hanging in the back of my mind.

Think about what would happen if you fully committed yourself to something you really want?

Maybe you’ll fail. So what? The world truly won’t end. It will feel that way at the time, but when you look back on that failure years later, you’ll be grateful it happened because either you’ll learn something from it, or you’ll know you were never meant to go in that direction.

Here’s the thing though: If you went 110%, I would bet you anything that you actually wouldn’t fail.

The few things I deemed important enough to give it my all, I either succeeded or something so much better came along in the process of working toward it.

So many people get started on the path toward a goal. You go out and buy the planner. You make the whole plan. You make the day by day plans to get there.

Then it’s time to execute.

One day goes by where you miss your to-do’s. Usually this is enough to knock people off course.

Then the plan is made again.

Repeat.

I’ve learned that it’s better to do 30 minutes a day (which anyone can fit it) of focused work toward a goal than short day-long bursts every few weeks.

What can you do for those 30 minutes today?

This is 2012, say your damn opinion

Draw a line in the sand.

Be black and white.

Know where you stand.

Don’t let other people bully you and push you around.

If someone says something rude to you, let your opinions be known about the subject.

Respect everyone until they disrespect you.

Life is too short for bullies.

Draw that line through that damn sand and let them know where you stand.

Proud about your passions

Here is the thought going out to my readers for the next few days: Why do we still search for approval from some people even though we are adults now?

Why do we sheepishly say “Oh, here are my hopes and dreams” in a timid voice without that raw, real, confidence that we should have because, well, it’s your whole life and why shouldn’t you be able to speak confidently about it?

I have only noticed this recently within myself. Why do I still seek approval from people? Is it just in our DNA?

Why do I want people to be as excited as I am about the things I am pursuing? If they don’t give a fuck, why am I upset?

If your passion is stickers, why don’t you walk around like, “HEY I THINK STICKERS ARE AWESOME! And since I am aware of my passion, I make sure to keep it in my life as often as possible and it makes me so damn happy.” For whatever reason we say to ourselves, “No, stickers are for kids. It’s time to grow up and get a real job.”

Fuck that.

There is nothing shameful about having a passion in any area.

Who cares if your friends approve or if your family approves… Take your passion, and be proud of it! The only thing that matters is if it makes you happy.

So the next time you unapologetically tell someone your passion, and they turn their head to the side in confusion, just smile and say, “Wow, I’m sorry you don’t have something that lights up your life the way ______ does for me,” and simply walk away.

Follow me on Twitter and let’s talk about how you are rethinking the supposed “rules” you’re supposed to be living.

The free tool to achieve your dreams

Building a business after eight hours at your full-time job can be exhausting.

What if you came home and had an e-mail that you already received Monday morning straight into your inbox with your to-do’s for the week to get your business rolling?

And the best part is: what if it was free?

I have been working and working on some side personal products that I am releasing soon to help my incredible, awesome, readers get their businesses rolling so they can stop doing the things they hate, and have more time and more money to do the things you love. That is what life is about anyway!

Not to mention, it will be the best of the best information, articles, tips, and tricks to get your business rolling as soon as possible so you can finally build that life of freedom you have been craving.

So, for those interested: please click here to sign up for the newsletter to get free tools and tips right in your inbox when you need them the most. Also, you’ll be the first to get the free products I release and get the news about any future products right away.

I’m looking forward to chatting with and meeting all of you so we can celebrate our growth together! (I like pineapple juice and Malibu rum. Just saying.)

Feel free to ask any questions you have on my new Twitter and Facebook page where you’ll get tons of other information to get you to where you want to be!

Stop sacrificing your happiness and passions

We are all far too stressed out, overwhelmed, and frankly too damn busy trying to keep everyone else happy.

Sometimes these things start out small, we start dating someone who has different interests than our own and we grow to love the things they love while sacrificing what we love.

Us women especially have this issue: we love keeping everyone else happy and sometimes forget that we deserve to be on the top of our own list. If we keep ourselves happy, we do a much better job at keeping everyone else happy, too.

I have noticed this within my own life; I get really snippy and I get mad at everyone else for the littlest things when all it means is that I’m not putting myself at the top of my own list.

Here was a little bomb of wisdom from one of my closest friends, “How is anyone else supposed to respect the things you love to do if you don’t make them even aware of them in the first place?”

Boom.

Let’s say you love going to the gym, and you decide to start working out again. You decide to go to the gym tonight right after work at 5:00. You are on your way out the door of work and your husband calls you with plans he made. You get instantly upset and want to cry and are bitter the rest of the night because he didn’t put your desires first.

But, here’s the thing, if you don’t openly and wildly declare, “I AM GOING TO THE GYM AT 5 TODAY AND UNLESS YOU ARE DYING, THESE PLANS ARE NOT TO BE CHANGED!” How the hell is anyone supposed to know these plans you have?

(Side note: If you do declare this, and people still piss on your plans, rethink these people in your life… This is a quick way to know who is supportive in your life and who isn’t.)

So, today, try to make your friends and family aware of the things you love and when you’re going to start bringing them back into your life. Sometimes they’ll even want to join you! But if you get some negative feedback, read my other post and maybe it’s time to find new people in your life.

At the very least, the internet is a great place to make new friends who have similar hobbies as you. I don’t know what I’d do without the support of my fitness friends I have met through the internet. Plus, this blog is all about Rethinking the Rulebook and thinking outside of the traditional norms out there.

Get out your planner, mark in the time TODAY to do something you love, then tell everyone who could interfere with this plan what you’re going to do.

Watch out world, you’re coming through.

Why it’s hard to ignore it

First off, let me just say that finals in college are ridiculously time consuming. Whoever thought it was a good idea to pile on a heavy work load then top it off with a culmination of the ridiculous crap you learned should get kicked in the shin.

But, I digress.

I’m here to follow up on my last post. Remember the one about all the negative things people say to you?

If you haven’t read it: the summed up version is that people can be jealous bitches and don’t want you to succeed.

You know, those people.

Why are they so damn hard to get rid of? Why don’t we shrug them off when people put doubts of success in our heads? Why don’t we laugh and say, “Of course I’m going to be successful!”?

Well, for one, usually we have doubts in our heads regardless of what other people say, and we feel like they’re just confirming these. This is another matter on it’s own. Just know that putting something in your life that makes you happy is never wrong.

Unless you like killing things or something weird. Those are no-no’s.

But here’s some real honest truth about what usually is the problem: these are usually people we know, trust, and most importantly, love. We value their opinion. We come to them with most of our thoughts and they give us their honest opinion.

Here’s the killer though: when you’re pursuing your passion and they have nothing in their life they are excited about, most of the time they will belittle your dream no matter how much they love you. They’re speaking out of total fear and disappointment about their own lives, but they project it on you.

They basically say “Oh I failed at all of my dreams and here’s why you for sure will, too.”

This is my favorite line from Jeffrey Gitomer: “People will rain on your parade because they have no parade of your own.”

Here’s what you do: You have to protect those dreams. The ones you keep so deep in your heart and mean everything to you. Protect these like babies. But, if you’re trying to figure out if someone truly supports you or not: make a dream up.

Pretend that you want to do something outside of your usual routine. Maybe pretend you want to take up yoga or painting or professional rollerblading; just make up something.

Here is the pass or fail test: Let’s say you picked yoga as your pretend dream, if they say something like “Oh, I hear yoga is really hard”/”Yoga is expensive”/”That’s for people from LA”, THEY ARE TOXIC TO YOUR DREAMS! They are trying to word vomit their excuses for life all over you. Don’t tell these people your big dreams. Wait until you’re already successful then be like “Oh, yeah, I started that months ago and I already am doing pretty damn good at this.”

But if they say something like: “Oh! I have a friend who is a yogi, let me get your her number”/”There’s free yoga at x place on Fridays”/”I’d love to try it, too!” These people are priceless. They love you and they support you and they want you to be happy.

Sometimes the ones who try to crush your dreams are truly worried you’ll fail and will tell you that. But here’s the thing: someone who really loves you will let you pursue your dreams and if it doesn’t work out, they’ll let you sleep in their spare bedroom and still tell you it was worth pursuing.

And here’s the real deal: it IS worth pursuing.

Protect it like a baby from everyone if necessary, feed it, love it, support it, nurture it, and I promise you it will grow into something bigger and more incredible than you could ever imagine.